Up until like, this year, 2015 was probably the worst year of my life. I hated college, my roommate was awful,[^1] a presidency that would start speed-running America’s descent into fascism was looming over me, and I was working over winter break instead of going home – hated my job too! There were times when I would go to work and come home and not speak to a single person for multiple days at a time, other than when my mom would call to check in on me. I was already depressed, and the Seasonal Affective Disorder was making it worse thanks to sub-zero winter temperatures. The funny thing is that I don’t really remember all that much of the sadness. What I *do* remember is the absolutely obscene amount of time I spent playing two games: **Diablo 3** and **Nuclear Throne**. Not to get too deep into it because I don’t wanna get dark right now, but I can easily credit both of these games for saving my life. I want to be clear: it certainly wasn’t *healthy* to waste away in my chair and pour so much time into these games. But sometimes what’s healthy and what helps you aren’t always the same thing. And the reality was that, with no access to therapy or a support system outside of my mom, not thinking about anything but grinding in those two games *did* help me. I bring this all up to say that as someone who usually avoids those time-sink games, I think it’s time again. I already have [[Fields of Mistria]] going and booted up [[Diablo IV]] – the true depression indicator. You know it’s getting bad, because I’m doing all of that in spite of the fact that I’ve been so obsessed with the way I spend my time again. There’s so much I want to experience, but my brain can’t handle it right now, so fuck it, number go up. Don’t worry though, I *do* have a therapist this time, so it won’t be quite as unhealthy LOL. [^1]: I feel it important to mention that Flynn wasn’t my roommate until 2017 and he was a fantastic roommate LOL this was someone else