I say sorry way too much. It's something I'm working on. But part of working on something is understanding *why* I do it. I've done some digging, and I think I've come up with that "why." Blah blah blah ## Why it Sucks When I realized I apologize way too much, I also realized that I just say sorry too much in general. I say sorry for: - Getting in someone's way - Not hearing someone properly - Not speaking propery - Moving too fast - Moving too slow - After asking someone if they're doing okay - After not answering someone fast enough - When I don't understand something - When I don't explain myself well And that's just me thinking about it for a few minutes. This is bad and detrimental. A big reason why I realized that I say sorry too much is that I realized I was making people feel bad about it. It makes sense! Saying sorry all the time sucks because you immediately place the burden on the other person to forgive you. This was a key thing for me to understand. That burden is heavy and needless, especially when I'm apologizing for little things that don't even matter. A "sorry" necessesitates an "it's okay," and those "it's okays" can add up quickly when you're doing it every 30 seconds. It's silly and needs to stop. ## Why I do it This took some time to figure out too. It feels like I'm apologizing for my existence. Scratch that, it isn't a feeling - *I am literally doing just that*. Call it middle child syndrome, call it being a quiet nerd for so long, hell call it being a bottom - but I am, in essence, saying sorry for existing in the same world as others and clashing against them, however minor of a way that may be. I have always felt like I take up too much space: physically, emotionally. I am so adverse to conflict with the people I care about or want the respect of that I'll do anything to acquiese to whatever they're looking for. But ironically, in wanting to not be a burden, I was apologizing so much I became one. ## How I'll Fix it This is, of course, not an ideal way to live. But it's also a hard habit to get rid of. Doing so means that I have to untangle my own self-loathing, and my intense need to be a people-pleaser. It's a slow process, but I'm taking it a step at a time. I'm basically replacing sorry with a different phrase for the stuff up above, more or less. "Excuse me," fits in a lot of places. It'll take time, but I gotta try! I hope this post resonates with someone! --- ### 12202024 Lots of great discussion about this on [my forum](https://discourse.auldnoir.org/t/barquqs-blogroll/570/114). I'm attaching a great little image that [crow](https://giantcrow.monster) shared as well to remind myself! ![[Sorry for Saying Sorry-20241220122916411.png]]