I've been struggling to think about writing anything with substance lately and it's kinda ass ngl. I'm worried I peaked with [[Save Your Game Please]], which would be sad. I can write my thoughts on random media all day long, but even that's felt relatively surface-level lately. Nothing's really come along that's completely captured my spirit since [[Nine Sols is a Masterpiece|Nine Sols]]. And I'm lucky I've gotten even that. Sometimes I wonder - am I just not experiencing much of life? I find myself envying people who seem to have so much going on and things that they do. Work takes up all my time and the last thing that I want to do is talk about that. The one part of my life that feels rich and fulfilling is my fiancé, but I don't like talking about her much. For one it feels invasive, but I also just don't want to jinx it? Maybe I'll pry open a little bit more after our wedding. Do I have nothing going on, nothing going on worth writing about, or do I simply not have the ability to write anything of substance? Some days it feels like all three. I don't think I really have an answer to it at the moment. I'm trying to take solace in the fact that this isn't the first time I've felt like this. Forcing it feels like trying to slam a square peg into a round hole. But that doesn't make it any less frustrating either. It's been interesting seeing so many people get into blogging after cohost shutting down. I honestly feel envious about that too - a whole new community sprung forth from the ashes of that website, and I feel like I missed the boat on it because I had the indecency of not sticking around after getting beaten down by the [[Another Post About Racist Spaces|gross racism]]. Ain't no one puttin' me in their web ring, especially given how critical I've been of the site's culture in the first place. Oops. But I bring it all up because I'm curious as well. Will this new world of writers get as stuck as I do? Will they be consistent? Have a theme? If nothing else, it'll be interesting to see if regularly blogging becomes a thing again. All of the above is why I've created the [[Blogroll]]. I'm trying to let go of even more preconceived notions. I keep falling into the trap of getting too stuffy with my writing. So I've decided, why not make the two areas separate - this and [[The Cafe|the cafe]]. Maybe in combination of this and all the bullet-journaling I've been doing I can feel a bit more happy about who I am and what I make.