[[Blogroll]] Promoting myself feels weird. It's one of those things that I've never been good at, online or off. I am not one to sell myself. When I post something, I usually do it once, reblog it once or twice if I *really* liked what I made, and then leave it at that. I have a ko-fi that I share every other week in my newsletter, which I also only ever post when I have a new issue up. Even now I'm debating whether it's worth it to link those things in this post. We'll find out by the time I'm done writing. Part of it, I think, is because I don't do what I do for fun, as a living. I just do it for the love the game, if you'll permit me the joke. I'm not an artist living off of commissions or anything like that. So it feels weird to ask people to donate to my random creative endeavors. On that note, I feel like I don't have a real "identity" when it comes to my creative work. Even now I sometimes cringe when I see my own bio, which has "Writer | Designer | Musician" listed on it. I haven't made an album in like two years! When you see me online, you don't think, "that's the guy who talks about fighting games" or "that's the guy who's really into indie films" or "oh this is that dude that does 10000 word essays on **Dragon Quest**." I'm just. A guy. One with crippling ADHD and random interests and hyper-fixations that come and go with the wind. I have no niche, no authority to speak on anything of note besides the things I do for work, which I never want to talk about anyways. To be clear, this isn't me being depressed or anything. I'm quite proud of how much I've written this year, and I've met a lot of the goals I wanted to accomplish. But I might be a little jealous about the way people have carved their identities out online in a way that I haven't, at 30 years old. Sometimes I wish I wasn't just A Guy, and that I had some long-term thesis that I wanted to apply to everything I create. But beyond enjoying [[Goopy Goblin Gamer Brain|goopy games]], I can't say that I do! That's probably fine. I'm content with where I'm at, and frankly, the fact that I can't devote myself to my creative endeavors is a testament to the fact that I'm properly taking care of a lot of people who rely on me. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't so scatter-brained. If I could point to that ko-fi and go "I've put a lot of effort into this and would like to be rewarded with it via attention!" But I don't feel like I've made enough of a mark in the circles I'm interested in to ask that of people. There's a quote that I think about quite often. Weirdly enough, it's from Mar Katoto, in Snapcube's Sonic Unleashed playthrough. Said rapid-fire: > I want to make a visual novel, I wanna make a movie, I wanna make music, I wanna make cartoon, I wanna do everything, I wanna do everything. I want, like a chicken sandwich. There’s so many things that I want! I am a creature of wants, and I am a slave to my instincts! And I can't do anything about it except complain and whine about it until I get the things that I want. For free! I feel so weirdly seen by this quote. It fits me to a T. I want to do so much, all things so disparately different from one another, that I think I'll always just Be a Guy Online. I'll never truly, directly promote myself and my random interests heavily for that exact reason. But! If you've stuck along for the ride, I greatly appreciate it. Hopefully this resonates with someone LOL.