# AKA: What is the FGC? A week or so ago I made a post that was basically: > Stop tying your self-worth to a random fighting game challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) I thought about it and in reality I actually don't think I'm tying my self-worth to [[Granblue Fantasy Versus - Rising|GBVS:R]]. I just wanted to be part of something. And the fact is, I'm not really "part" of the FGC, I don't think? It's a very nebulous term to begin with, and I'm sure friends who *are* and read this will protest my assertion. But I really don't think I am. I've given up on FGC servers. They're annoying to be in, either filled with random bigotry, or people who've known each other for years, requiring you to penetrate an in-group. I am nearing 30 and haven't felt the urge to do something like that since high school. And I'm not on Twitter anymore, which inexplicably is where the FGC seems to have wanted to remain. And whilst prominent voices will tell you that the FGC is a welcoming place, even when we ignore the still frequent bigotry and racism, there's still one factor that I feel remains a quiet fact: **The FGC loves raw talent.** Even if I don't call myself part of the community, I do follow it. And the amount of terrible things that people have gotten away with simply because they're good at pressing buttons is too long to list or ignore. That's how much being good at the game seems to matter. That's not to say I'm condemning the FGC for caring about getting good - though I am condemning it for letting terrible people continue to operate freely, lol. For the most part, the people I've played with are willing to help others learn and improve their game, which is great! I've dealt with assholes[^1], but those are everywhere, especially if it's a sub-community of *gamers*. And it's not that surprising, either: fighting games are competitive by nature. The better you are, the more people will notice and care about what you do and what you have to say. So I suppose that's where my need to get better at fighting games came from. I obsessed with my skill level because I didn't believe I could claim to be part of this "community" if I'm not. But how good is good enough anyways? --- On January 18th, 2024, I hit S5 with Belial. ![[I Hit S5-20240119085619273.png]] I was unbelievably excited when I landed that final 2M and cracked into the rankings. No joke, that high carried me for the rest of the night. It was the goal I had set for myself at the beginning of the year, and I hit it before the first month of 2024 was even over! After 1,153 matches across 75 hours of grinding, I did what I set out to do. But then I realized I needed to figure out what I wanted to do next. What was my next goal? The very idea of trying to grind beyond S5 was enough to give me a headache. I doubt I'll touch ranked again, and if I do, only very rarely. From now on it's all lobbies and casual matches for me. What changed? Not much, to be honest. I think the main thing was that I did what I set out to do - proved to myself that I'm at least kinda nice in at least one fighting game. I was shadow-boxing an imaginary voice in my head that told me I couldn't be a fighting game player unless I was good enough. I hit S5 though, so was that good enough? Do I need to hit S1? Masters? And good enough for who, anyways? My friends? This nebulous community? At the time I didn't know. But the truth is I wanted to be good enough for me, and I realized that I've happily hit that target. Now that I've proven myself to myself, a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I'm going to keep playing because I love it. But the realization that I was trying to get good for people I didn't even know was more important than hitting the goal itself, which means I can finally relax a little. All of that said: *don't be like me*. This whole thing is dumb! I know it is, even as I type this. If me using this website as a way to parse my own dumb thoughts is new to you...welcome! **But** if there's one thing you can take away from it all, it's this: I think the idea of an FGC is a nice one, but I also, personally, don't think it matters that much either if you don't think you're part of it. Maybe one day I'll be "part of it" and change my mind about all of this! But for now I'm just an aging mint that likes to hit buttons with my friends. And if the FGC is a real tangible thing, then I think it's whatever you want it to be. It's you and your 5 friends posting Vasaraga memes in the group chat. It's you playing in online lobbies even if you've never said a word. It's you watching EVO even if you've never touched a fighting game in your life. It's you drawing Morrigan smut even if you don't know what game she's from. That's all! Sorry for being weird, as usual. Now catch this 66H- [^1]: Mint trivia: I stopped playing fighting games for like 4 years because of a random aphobic DM I got. very cool!